My Village

Welcome to the March 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Everyday Superheroes

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have talked about the remarkable people and characteristics that have touched their lives. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

When I became a mom, I had an inkling of the mom I wanted to be, but no idea how to get there.  I knew that I wanted my babies to have “good food”, “safe products”, “appropriate developmental toys”.  The problem was, I didn’t necessarily know what that meant, and I didn’t know how to figure that out.  None of my long time friends had children.  The parenting magazines and stores put out the information that their corporate sponsors dictate.  I knew that the one sided information from the mainstream media couldn’t be the entire story, because one size never fits all.  But I didn’t know where to find other information.  I think there are a lot of people out there who are in this same position.  6959751408_826ab8fecf_b

I was lucky in that a friend from a due date club invited me to an internet forum for crunchy moms, when Sofi was 6 months old.  On that forum, I met a group of women who grew with me, learning about the alternative options to the mainstream offerings.  I learned about whole foods, traditional diets, cloth diapers, chemicals in our typical household products, vaccines, differing educational philosophies, and natural baby care.

9535658967_ef4e2a16dc_bAbout 6 months later, some friends at La Leche League invited me to a local Attachment Parenting group.  In this group of families, I learned about community.  I learned about homeschooling, about gentle parenting as children grew and matured, about physically supporting families on a daily basis.  I learned about vulnerability, about encouragement.  I learned what it meant to be real, and to allow others to help us.

Together with these women, I researched, I learned, I experimented, I GREW.  Were it not for these women, these families, I would not be the mom I am today.  It wasn’t because these people were better than me, and taught me to be a better person.  It was because together we were genuine with each other.  It was because as a group, we found out about who we want to be and how we want to parent.  261593_10150289482925155_1444356_n

Now, 7 years later, I am the mom I wanted to be.  I have learned about so many of the concerns that I had as a new mother, but more than that – I have learned that I am capable of learning about any topic I want, and of realizing great change in my life.  I have learned that I can find a community for myself, no matter where I am, and no matter what my beliefs are.

The people who taught me these things – they are my everyday heroes.  They are the people who get me through every day.

***

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by afternoon March 11 with all the carnival links.)

  • I Am A Super Hero — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how she learned the hard way exactly what it means to be a real super hero and not a burned out shell of a human simply pretending to be one.
  • Quiet Heroics — Heroism doesn’t have to be big and bold. Read how Jorje of Momma Jorje is a quiet hero…and how you probably are, too.
  • Not a Bang, but a Whisper {Carnival of Natural Parenting} — Meegs at A New Day talks about the different types of “superheroes,” ones that come in with a bang and ones that come in with a whisper.
  • Silent courage of motherhood in rural Cambodia — Nathalie at Kampuchea Crossings marvels at how rural Khmer women defy the odds in childbirth.
  • Super PappyMother Goutte‘s little boy met a superhero in checked slippers and Volkswagen Polo, his grand dad: Super Pappy!
  • An Open Letter to Batman — Kati at The Best Things challenges Batman to hold up his end of the deal, in the name of social justice, civic duty, and a little boy named Babe-O!
  • My Village — Kellie at Our Mindful Life reflects on the people who helped her to become her best self.
  • 5 Lessons My Kids Taught Me — Children are amazing teachers, when we only stop to listen. They remind us to choose happiness, to delight in the small things, to let go and forgive. There is so much we can learn from our children. Justine at The Lone Home Ranger shares a few of the lessons she’s learned.
  • Could you use some superpowers? — Tat at Mum in search shares a fun activity to help you connect with your own superpowers.
  • Like Fire Engines — Tam at tinsenpup tells the story of the day she saw a surprising superhero lurking in the guise of her not entirely mild-mannered four-year-old daughter.
  • Everyday Superheroes — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her list of Walker Warburg Syndrome Superheroes that have touched her life forever.
  • My Superhero of the Week: Nancy GallagherTribal Mama muses about the transcendent things her superhero mom has done.
  • My choice in natural birth does not make me a super hero — Bianca, The Pierogie Mama, discusses her thoughts on her experience with the perception of natural birth and putting those mamas on a different level. Does giving birth naturally give cause for an extra pat on the back? No! All mamas, no matter how they birth, are superheroes.
  • Someone’s Hero — Sometimes being a parent means pretending to be a grown-up, but it always means you are someone’s hero. Read Mandy’s lament at Living Peacefully with Children.
  • Growing into a Super Hero — Casey at Joyful Courage shares how owning our behavior and choosing to be a better parent, a better person, is an act of courage.
  • A Math Superhero — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling writes that her 7-year-old daughter’s superhero is an MIT-trained mathematician.
  • It Starts With Truffula Trees And Tulips — Luschka of Diary of a First Child takes a hard look at the realities of her relationship with her mother, and through this post goes on a journey of discovery that ends in a surprise realisation for her.
  • We Don’t Need an Excuse — Maria Kang (aka “Hot Mom”) asks women #WhatsYourExcuse for not being in shape? Dionna at Code Name: Mama asks Hot Mom what her excuse is for not devoting her life to charity work, or fostering dozens of stray dogs each year, or advocating for the needs of others. Better yet, Code Name: Mama says, how about we realize that every woman has her own priorities. Focus on your own, and stop judging others for theirs.
  • It’s not heroic when you’re living it — Lauren at Hobo Mama knows from the inside that homeschooling does not take a hero, and that much of what we choose as parents is simply what works best for us.
  • Superheroes, princesses and preschoolers — Garry at Postilius discusses why his preschool-age son is not ready for comic book superheroes.
  • The Loving Parents of Children with Special Needs – Everyday Superheroes — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares posts with resources for parents of children with special needs along with posts to help others know how to support parents of children with special needs.
  • Everyday Empathy — Mommy Giraffe of Little Green Giraffe shares why her secret superpower is everyday empathy.
  • The Simplicity of Being a Superhero — Ana at Panda & Ananaso explains what superheroes mean to her wise three-year-old.
  • My Father, The Hero — Fathers are pretty amazing; find out why Christine at The Erudite Mom thinks hers is the bees knees.

7 comments to My Village

  • When I had my first child, I also had no idea where to start to get to where I wanted to be. Honestly, I still have stumbling blocks. How amazing to have a tribe of superheros you can call on to support you! I love what you said about learning and becoming the Mom you wanted to be. It’s the BEST when on the quest to learn about any given topic, we learn the most about ourselves.

  • That community is so important to finding and supporting your identity! Thanks for sharing.

  • Tam

    How blessed you were to have found those wonderful communities! For those of us who have struggled with this for one reason or another, the Internet has made an enormous difference, allowing similar growth to take place even in relative isolation.

  • Tat

    I can so relate to your story of being a new mum who had no idea what the things she wanted for her children meant. I looked for answers in books and got super-confused by all the conflicting advice, so early on I had to give up on books and learn to rely on my own instincts. Only later I found a community and felt validated.

  • When we craft an honest community from genuine respect and non-judgment, it’s amazing how much that group can buoy our confidence and increase our shared influence. Thanks for sharing this great tip! I will pass on this post to my birth doula clients, who are often wondering seeking their path. “Find a community!” is always my reply.

  • <3 I'm so glad I have you to be genuine with. You have been such a vital part of my parenting journey. Thank you!

  • It can be so incredibly empowering to have that core group of like-minded people in your life. That’s the beauty of the Internet for those of us who haven’t been lucky enough to find those people in our everyday lives. When it feels as if you’re going against the tide in all that you do, it makes a profound difference just knowing that there are many others who share your values. It can make all the difference.

Leave a Reply

  

  

  

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>