Toxic or negative people bring stress and frustration. And here are 5 types of people to avoid and how to spot them.
I can never find an outfit that satisfies me.
“This pleated dress will work amazingly with a leather belt. “Yes, that’s right. I need a new leather belt. It is going to save my look. So I hopped online, start searching for the belt-to-be.
Scrolled all the way down on the “accessories” page, I finally found the belt. The design is sleek but not too sleek that it becomes invisible. I was quick to add it to the cart. But there was one problem.
It looked familiar. Familiar like I have seen it. Familiar like I have it. Damn, I have the exact same belt. Digging all the way to the bottom of my wardrobe, I finally retrieve the belt. It was lying there the whole time while I was shopping for her twin sister. On top of it were the clothes that I haven’t worn more than three times.
I was always buying new things, adding new stuff to my life. And before I notice, my place is cluttered. So I can’t find the belt. I can’t find the things that really matter to me.
Life is the same. Sometimes you don’t need more. You need less. If your relationships are causing you stress and frustrations, it’s time to figure out who to remove.
You can’t heal the same place you get hurt. By cutting people off, you make room for those who actually care. So here are 5 types of people to avoid in your life, because you deserve better.
5 Types of people to avoid in your life
People who start most sentences with an “I”
Read over the texts you’ve received. How many sentences begin with an “I”?
“I am free tonight. Want to hang out? ”
“I don’t like your look.”
“That movie is stupid. I don’t have time for it.”
“I need to take a selfie here. How do I look?”
When you are with narcissists, you feel invisible. All they care about is themselves. They will drag you into their egocentric world and make you part of their possessions.
To deal with narcissists, you either cut them off or avoid them the best you can. You shouldn’t be treated as an object. Know your worth and stay away.
Read also: 32 Hard-hitting narcissist quotes to stay away from them
Those who always apologize with a “but”
I’ve been with a guy who scheduled most dates within his walking distance. But it would take me an hour to go there. Because I am an early riser, so I figure it’s no big deal.
On a Saturday, I arrived at the café we were supposed to meet on time. And he didn’t show up until 30 minutes later. “I am sorry. But I would have made it on time if we are not meeting so early. It’s 10 am, for god’s sake.” He went on and on complaining about his week. And I was almost convinced that it was my fault.
There are apologies, and there are excuses disguised as apologies. You don’t need to be a linguistic professional to tell the difference. If you don’t know whether you should avoid someone, pay attention to how he apologizes. What is he trying to say? Is he really sorry, or is he shifting the blame?
Those who say “I am joking” to get rid of the blame
I remember back in high school, the girl who sat next to me once asked me, “Have you considered losing 10 pounds before going to college? That way, you will stop being invisible.” Startled by her comments, I went completely silent.
“Hey, I am just joking. Don’t take it so seriously.” To this day, I still remember her gleeful tone with “no bad intentions.”
Is she really joking? I have no idea. But I do know that if I care about someone, I will never say something like this.
Words like “I am joking” or “No offense” are not a free pass. Instead, they are red flags. Toxic people use them to test your limits or to get rid of responsibility. There is a line between light-hearted jokes and straight-up bully. If someone hurts your feelings repetitively, they either lack empathy or do that on purpose. Either way, your life will be better without them. When respect is missing, it’s time to let it go.
People who swear “it won’t happen again” but break their promises
Just because someone says “I swear” doesn’t mean he will keep his words. Credibility is built not on words but actions.
I had a friend whose boyfriend cheated on her multiple times. “He was crying, begging me to come back.” So she did. And the same thing happens again, and again, and again.
Words can lie; actions don’t. By forgiving people who hurt you for the first time, you grant them pardon to do it again. They assume if they can get away this time, they can the next time. The best way to deal with broken promises and lies? Take back your trust from people that don’t deserve it. You can’t stop a liar from lying. But you can stop including them in your life.
People who blame you for not responding but leave you on “read”
How do we make friends? By being a friend first. How can we be loved? By being a lovable person first. We get what we work for. Simple as that.
If a friend doesn’t text you back in days, he or she should not expect you to respond immediately. If your partner doesn’t bother to put in efforts, why should you? A give-and-take balance is what keeps a relationship going. When one is doing all the giving, and the other only takes, it’s not love. It’s manipulation.
Which type of people resonates with you?
What kind of people do you avoid in your life? Share your experiences and thoughts in the comment. Your words may inspire someone to do the right thing and cut off toxic people.