A Thank-you Letter To My Fake Friends

Fake friends, back-stabbers, frienemies, whatever you call them, it sucks to have them in our lives. But here is why we should be thankful for our fake friends.

To all the fake friends and people who stabbed us in the back,

I’m writing this letter so you’ll know why we don’t talk anymore. But I also want you to know that I don’t hate you. 

If it weren’t for you, I might still give my heart easily to anyone I can hold onto. But now, I know better. We can’t force friendship, just like we can’t force love. Instead of losing myself to be the best friend for you, I choose me now.

We can’t force friendship, just like we can’t force love.

Remember three years ago when I had just gone through a heart-breaking breakup? I felt like my world was tumbling down. I needed a shoulder to cry on, a hug to wrap myself and someone to talk to. I needed you. But instead of being by my side, you dodged me, like dodging the bullets. 

You were dating Zack and having the time of your life. And you said I was “too emotional”. You stopped answering my calls and replying to my texts and warn my other friends that I was a mental ticking time-bomb.

Sometimes a fake friend can hurt you 10 times more than a breakup.

When I needed you the most, you walked away and took everyone I had with you. That broke my heart, even worse than the breakup itself. I waited for you for so long. Like what all the fake friends do, you never showed up.  

So instead of keeping my false hope, I began to save myself.
I learn to open my heart to my family, who actually cares about me. It’s not easy to expose my vulnerable side to someone so close. But it’s worth it. 

And all the times you told me Zack was a total douchebag and how he cheated on you? You said you were not courageous or determined enough to leave him for good. So you asked me to confront him for you. 

I did, not once, not twice. But you would always get back together after a day or two when you “figured it out”. You made me feel like a villain and a joke at the same time. Rumors spread that I was trying to steal your boyfriend by sabotaging your relationship over and over again. 

So I learn to stay out of your business. I learn to say “No” to things I don’t feel comfortable with. Best friends can keep their boundaries, and there is a fine line between asking for help and being manipulative. And unfortunately, fake friends are sometimes the best puppet-masters.

Fake friends are sometimes the best puppet-masters.

I hated you, but I no longer did. I know you are not a bad person. And when it comes to friendship, it’s not that black-and-white. 

I won’t forget the laughter and joyful moments we had together. I would also remember all the tears you had brought me. You never have a real friend, and maybe that’s why you don’t know how to be one.

Looking back, I don’t have so much hate anymore. Instead, I am grateful for having you in my life. And here are what I’ve learned from fake friendships:

• My boundaries are important
• Not everyone can handle vulnerability
• I don’t own anyone a damn thing
• Some people are meant to be temporary

So dear fake friend, cheers to what we had and what we should have had. I hope you’ll find a real friend who cares enough to tell you what you’ve done wrong. I hope he/she will stay by your side and help you grow like I never dare to. But for now I just want to say:

Thank you. 
Your once best friend

If you can be open to one of your fake friends, what will you tell him/her? Share with me in the comment or submit your own anonymous open letter to hello@ourmindfullife.com.