Fake friends, back-stabbers, frienemies, whatever you call them, it sucks to have them in our lives. But here is why we should be thankful for our fake friends.
To all the fake friends and people who stabbed us in the back,
I’m writing this letter so you’ll know why we don’t talk anymore. But I also want you to know that I don’t hate you.
If it weren’t for you, I might still give my heart easily to anyone I can hold onto. But now, I know better. We can’t force friendship, just like we can’t force love. Instead of losing myself to be the best friend for you, I choose me now.
We can’t force friendship, just like we can’t force love.
Remember three years ago when I had just gone through a heart-breaking breakup? I felt like my world was tumbling down. I needed a shoulder to cry on, a hug to wrap myself and someone to talk to. I needed you. But instead of being by my side, you dodged me, like dodging the bullets.
You were dating Zack and having the time of your life. And you said I was “too emotional”. You stopped answering my calls and replying to my texts and warn my other friends that I was a mental ticking time-bomb.
Sometimes a fake friend can hurt you 10 times more than a breakup.
When I needed you the most, you walked away and took everyone I had with you. That broke my heart, even worse than the breakup itself. I waited for you for so long. Like what all the fake friends do, you never showed up.
So instead of keeping my false hope, I began to save myself.
I learn to open my heart to my family, who actually cares about me. It’s not easy to expose my vulnerable side to someone so close. But it’s worth it.
And all the times you told me Zack was a total douchebag and how he cheated on you? You said you were not courageous or determined enough to leave him for good. So you asked me to confront him for you.
I did, not once, not twice. But you would always get back together after a day or two when you “figured it out”. You made me feel like a villain and a joke at the same time. Rumors spread that I was trying to steal your boyfriend by sabotaging your relationship over and over again.
So I learn to stay out of your business. I learn to say “No” to things I don’t feel comfortable with. Best friends can keep their boundaries, and there is a fine line between asking for help and being manipulative. And unfortunately, fake friends are sometimes the best puppet-masters.
Fake friends are sometimes the best puppet-masters.
I hated you, but I no longer did. I know you are not a bad person. And when it comes to friendship, it’s not that black-and-white.
I won’t forget the laughter and joyful moments we had together. I would also remember all the tears you had brought me. You never have a real friend, and maybe that’s why you don’t know how to be one.
Looking back, I don’t have so much hate anymore. Instead, I am grateful for having you in my life. And here are what I’ve learned from fake friendships:
- My boundaries are important
- Not everyone can handle vulnerability
- I don’t own anyone a damn thing
- Some people are meant to be temporary
So dear fake friend, cheers to what we had and what we should have had. I hope you’ll find a real friend who cares enough to tell you what you’ve done wrong. I hope he/she will stay by your side and help you grow like I never dare to. But for now I just want to say:
Thank you.
Your once best friend
What is your story with fake friends?
If you can be open to one of your fake friends, what will you tell him/her? Share with me in the comment or submit your own anonymous open letter to hello@ourmindfullife.com.
I don’t like fake ass hoes and for sure can not trust them
thanks for saying that i kinada apreciatte that :}
Idk what to say my friend is always fake she used me for food she never listens to me she only talks cares about her self I love the fact I was always with her she is saying I like her ex but I was just joking but she won’t listen to me
hope that she becomes your ex-friend soon.
These past two years have been the hardest times I could never have imagined. Going through stage three cancer while leaving one toxic relationship because I would not formulate a living will for her and her son to be taken care of when I die as she demanded. To then being introduced by a fake friend to another toxic and evil woman who proceeded to abuse me in many ways for over a year even while finishing the last couple months of my chemo plan as well as losing my father shortly after entering remission. To then learning what a sociopathic narcissist is after my ex had tortured and tormented me the entire relationship and then discarded me while wrongfully and dishonestly turning almost all of my so called friends against me with her hatred spewing lies and deceit. All the while dealing with my own family turning on me in attempts to contest my fathers will hoping to benefit financially. All that being said I must thank all of the falsely presented disorder driven friends and family who has turned on me as it is partially my own fault for continually receiving your horrible abuse that you directed onto me. For I am now free of the toxic evil people that used and abused me over and over for so long. The back pack of negative darkness I wore has been taken off and lifted that heavy burden of gross and blinding fog that so many of you suffocated me with in hopes to take me down to your level and change me. I may have changed but not to your kind of qualities. Instead I have replaced the hate, anger, and frustration that developed as of yours and my doings and I am finally free. Free to be that significant wonderful man that I have always been and I can now see clearly as well as soar with the eagles and no longer strut with the chickens on the dirty ground. These experiences that I have endured hopefully motivate and drive some of you to grow from that childish rut that you are stuck in and proof that one can overcome anything no matter how dark the years or lonely and heart ached one may be suffering from you can dig your self out of anything with the correct mindset and strong will to believe and push through. I wish you all good vibes, health and strength so that you may one day be fortunate enough to soar up high and look down upon the things you all hold yourselves down with. After all it sure is a great view up here and to have the ability to not burden yourself with looking down but Ahead and onward towards the beauty and real life that is ahead is extreme bliss. One Love! Shake Ya Tail Feathers & Fly!
Mr. D
@Johny,
I’m sorry you dealt with so much abuse. I’m grateful that you posted this because reading it through it gave me hope. Hope that I can be ok. I can learn to be ok without those people in my life. Even though some days it feels impossible and lonely. I need to push forward and never give up. I’m sorry to say I’ve been so tempted to give up on life. Why can people and family be so hateful. What have I done so wrong to be born into this type of life instead of into a loving and supportive family. I’ll never understand.
I am so sorry johny:)
I have a fake friend named Niya..she exposed me and hurt me deeply, what should I do? I don’t wanna hurt her..
Dont talk to her.
Just don’t talk to her, and also avoid her, she’s being an idiots, and she isnt worth anything like you are:)
I never had a fake best friend before 4years ago I was going threw hard times with family and friends 2017 I met dis girl she became my best friend she started changing up on me after a year hanging out with people I don’t like
This toxic girls. I once believe in this girl name alyssa and alaine becoz i thought theyre a good friend but instead they uses me and say bad things abt me, they backstab me, a month later.. they say sorry to me but i dint accept them becoz i know they will just use me and i was right… They just want me to help them abt their studies they always chat me and i dint answer it. To my FAKE FRIENDS or shall i say so called “friends” who betrayed me IM NOT THE GIRL YOU GUYS USED TO KNOW.
@Andy,
I also have some “friends” like that and they always say bad things about me,but I don’t have the courage to say anything..
I really want to be stronger and do something about it but I feel like I can’t because if I do,they will definitely leave me.
Right now they all already left me and I only have one true friend..,she’s always there for me and I love her.
So pay attention to the ones who care for you and not the ones who use you 🤍
@mina,
Same here. If your so called “friends” cause you pain, say something. It is worth it.
To my fake friend,
The aftermath of your betrayal shook me so deeply I can no longer trust people and even worse trust myself. You said I wasn’t there, but how could I be? Your constant accusations and anger pushed me away. My instincts knew from the beginning something was always off. The way that you took everything I said wrong and you doubted my intentions. You kept pointing out reasons why you thought I was being a bad friend or “fake.” You trained me with your manipulation to doubt myself and try harder to prove my friendship and my honest intentions, but always falling short. I still suffer from not knowing what to do or say, it felt like no matter what I did I always lost and was left with your anger.
Now you ignore me as if I don’t exist. It wouldn’t be so bad, if you hadn’t forced yourself into my life and my family by basically copying my life. It’s twisted and dark and I can’t believe I never saw through it even though my gut always told me.
Now I’m left with working on my anxiety and trust issues. Everytime there’s a family function I have to brace myself for impact. Your silent treatment and silent hatred cutting through the air like knives. I don’t understand it, that’s the one thing I’m sad to admit I still hold onto. Wanting to know the reasons behind why you feel so much hatred towards me I can’t understand it. I wish I didn’t have to go, but I have to for my husband. I have to for myself, this is my family and I’ve earned my spot in it. Whatever division and poison you’ve tried spreading will not stop me. For my God fights for me and I am not alone. The truth always comes out but I’m not wasting time waiting on any of that. I’ve forgiven you, I don’t hate you, and I wish you the best always. Because I remember the days when we laughed and we trusted each other. I know somewhere deep down you know this truth and you know I was a real friend. I haven’t spoken against you or spread rumors or revealed any secrets, so I consider myself to still be your good friend even if it hasn’t been reciprocated.
All I want is for this to end, the anxiety and the hurt. When will I finally be on the other side of this. Stronger, smarter and braver. So that I can trust myself again and choose good friends.. because I so LONG to have that circle. My tribe, my people, a reason to look forward to the day and have hope in the kindness in humanity. Does that even exist? I can only hope it does, otherwise I fear, what’s the point of living?
I’m a firm believer being by yourself is an awesome experience, you don’t have to worry about someone stabbing you in the back, turning your friends against you and walking on eggshells trying not to do or say the wrong thing. Sometimes you’ve got to figure yourself out and what makes you happy before you can be truly happy in life. Here’s a very wise saying “Just be yourself because everyone else is taken” ponder on that. My Mama always told me hold up both hands, now count your true friends, drop a finger for each one you name that’s not a true true friend and if you still have 1 finger up you are a very blessed girl because it isn’t about the quantity of friends you have it’s about the quality of friendship you have with 1 person as your best friend who is always there for you no matter what. That is a true friend. Oh and the saying in case it didn’t click don’t go along with the crowd just to fit in. If you’ve got to be or act like someone you’re not then you’re being fake and is that really the kind of people you want to hang with or wouldn’t you rather be yourself and not have to worry about when the fakesters are going to turn on you because it will happen and probably sooner than later. So always just be yourself, you have nothing to prove to anybody. You are perfect the way you are and if wr all acted and looked the same just think about how boring life would be.
😘😘
Dear fake friend, thank you for allowing me to truly understand what fake friends are really about. You teached me to be aware of all the people who would want to use me hurt me and break my heart without blinking an eye you taught me how to protect myself always be ready of those with bad intentions against me I guess you could say you saved my life you can say you used me as a stepping stone you realizing you became a stepping stone for me I just want to say to you that you were once my friend and I want to keep it that way I had given you everything that I am and as for you you were like a Christmas present with nothing in it. And so to you my fake friend you were never there to catch my tears and help me carry my bleeding heart. My fake friend I will never forget you I don’t have any more tears for myself but I did save some for you take care of yourself no one will take care of you except another fake friend.
It takes time to realise that the “friends” we love so much are just fake who stay with us untill they can get all that they want and at last drop you alone…just to make you realise how foolish we had been loosing ourselves in the process of loving them blindly, hence love for onself is important than love for others as everything starts from self love😊
I used to think talking about my good qualities was conceited. Depending on the context, it can be. But when I am talking about how good I was to you, it is not conceited. It is just stating the facts.
I tried so hard. I was there, every time you called. When you didn’t want to walk to the bathroom alone, I went. When you wanted to get something from your car in 30-degree weather, I was shivering beside you as you dug hand sanitizer out of your center console. When you had no one to talk to, I came over and asked you about little things I remembered just to let you know I listen. I brought you into my house, fed you, entertained you, made you laugh. I spent hours planning fun things to do together. I embraced your favorite sport even though I hated it, just because you loved it so much. There was a time when I would take a bullet for you. Honestly, I probably still would. Because I’m me.
But you? When I texted, upset and alone, I got brushed off. When I needed something from my car, I walked alone through a dark parking lot. When I had no one to talk to, I pushed myself into my work. You rarely listened, and rarely approached me when I was alone. You took others into your house when you replaced me. When I didn’t want to do what you wanted to after doing it for so long, you shrugged me off and continued to do it without me. You’ve made it clear. I don’t matter. I’m replaceable.
Maybe I am replaceable. But so are you. So now, I have made the decision to replace you with someone who deserves me. I’m done paving this one-way street. Goodbye.
This is so realateable. Honestly, I might be writing this letter in the very near future. My fake friend, I have had for over six years. I just can’t bring myself to say, “You have been a ***** to me all my life and I am NOT sorry for leaving you. I wish you well, and I hope you are aware of the pain you have caused me. I hope you have a good life. Now bye and get the hell out of my life.” She says she’s my friend, but in reality, she is my biggest bully. I’m just too nice to say anything, despite how much I hate her and how many—and I mean MANY—tears she has caused me.
It’s hurting
I once told my friend my crush … 😭 I shouldn’t have I put a note in his locker and I didn’t put who it was from and I’m also not in his class and she told him 😔 I had issues with them but I fixed it but then they betrayed me
My best friend bailed after 6 years of best buds. I hear now that hes telling people we were not friends he was my carer. Nice huh.
My “best friend” of 7 years completely ignored me on my birthday, (even tho we had been making plans for months) and went out with other ppl instead, then every plan we made she either didn’t show up, cancelled last second, or continued to ignore me … finally see her at the end of the month two days before my kids birthday and she starts telling him all the things we were gonna do and she would bring her son, his best friend over (which is the ONLY thing he asked for on his birthday) and then she ignored our calls and texts all day so he spent most of his birthday crying because she made him a promise. And this bothers me on soooooooo many levels! Well when I call her out and tell her how upset I am, she first tries to reschedule everything but our kid’s schedules weren’t the same so that plan didn’t work out. Because of that “I have no reason to be mad at her anymore” “ this is just who she is and this is her life” even though she’s never been like this ever! And then she ghosted me, so far it’s been a month 😩🙄🤦♀️
I have a friend who turned all of my other friends against me because I was getting to close to another kid and she was jealous. I don’t know why I forgave her, but she’s emotionally manipulative and if we fight, she always makes me the bad guy. She ridicules me in front of people and has caused me a lot of pain. If I cut her off, she’ll confront me about it and i’m sure everyone will take her side…I don’t want to lose my friends, but I do want to get rid of her, what do I do?
Dear fake friend, you treating me like shit made me a strong person today. I now know how to set boundaries, deal with bullying and have a lot of friends, and it’s all thanks to you.Thanks for spreading rumors about me. Thanks for turning everyone against me. Thanks for shit talking me. And thank you so, so, so much for being an asshole and publicly humiliating me in the name of fun.
– Someone you used to meet your own needs 😊
I met this girl in 2nd grade. She lived far away from me but her mother was my neighbor. So lets call her Eliza. Eliza always knocked on my door to be together. But she had to go. Because she was here in the summer break. In 3rd grade she asked me some personal stuff. I don’t want to say them. So my mom and dad said that if that happens again i got to say it. Two years ago she moved here. She didn’t even want to be with me. She was with everybody else. So this one day i walked to her and said that she needed to stop ignoring me. The she did. But, she started saying things about my other friends. That they wasn’t real. So i believed her. Because she was like friends with everyone. So i shut them all up. Then she started making drama. Like much drama. And she made everything about her. Like she’s the only one that had problems. And if i said no to her when she asked me to send messages to her crush. She got so angry. So for like a month ago she moved to her father. That in glad for. But still she send me chats. And i don’t want her to because she makes drama. But i don’t know what to say. Without hurting her.
It was fun. But i was on to you before you knew I knew. All the times I would hear you speak of others, then smile in their presence, I knew I was no different.