What You Can Control In Life – 12 Things To Focus On

Focusing on what you can control empowers you to take action and create positive changes instead of feeling helpless and overwhelmed.

Have you ever found yourself worrying about things out of your control? Maybe you’ve stressed about the weather ruining your weekend plans or are obsessed over something someone said. If so, you are not alone.

For years, I was a chronic worrier. I would overthink and waste so much time and energy on them. And the problem escalated in preparation for my wedding.

It was rescheduled twice because of the weather. The ceremony was supposed to be held outdoors. And the third time, when we finally decided to go no matter what, the rain started pouring that morning. Frustrated and freaked out, the only thing I could do was to work with my planner and move everything indoors.

However, to my surprise, the wedding went smoothly, and everyone had a great time. This made me realize I could do my best to make things right despite my lack of control over the weather.

This shift in mindset has transformed my life. I’ve been able to accomplish so much more, both personally and professionally. So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by what you can’t control, remember you are in charge of the following things that will make a big difference.

Things you can control in life that actually matter

Your words

You can’t control the actions of others, the outcomes of events, or the twists and turns of fate. But you can decide what you say and how you speak to others, which can significantly influence you and those around you.

When you speak in a kind, constructive and positive way, you build a stronger bond and create a supportive and understanding environment. However, negative, judgmental, or hurtful words can only bring people down and sabotage your relationships.

So, speak from the heart, listen to others, and choose your words wisely. By doing so, you become a source of love and compassion. And you’ll attract people that vibe on the same level.

Your actions

You may not have control over what happens to you. But you can control what to do about it. And it’s your actions that decide 99% of the outcome.

Let’s say you are a student struggling with a subject. While you can’t lower the difficulty of the class or change how it’s taught, you can control how you approach the situation.

Whether seeking help from classmates, teachers, tutoring, or spending extra time on it, your actions will essentially decide how well you perform.

Your self-talk

How you talk to yourself matters. Talking negatively to yourself is like trying to drive with your handbrakes on. It only slows you down and makes a rough path even rougher.

However, when you challenge your limiting beliefs and talk to yourself in a cheerful, compassionate way, you can realize your full potential with less stress and self-doubts.

I was asked to give a presentation on my first internship. And the audience would be the top executives of the company. To make the situation worse, I always had problems speaking in front of a crowd, let alone important people who could decide whether I stay in the company or not.

I had two options here. I could tell myself that I am a bad public speaker. Or I could change the perception.

So I told myself at least three times a day that “I can do this. I can give an organized and informative speech.” The repetition helped to register the belief in my brain. And on the day of the presentation, I felt less scared than I would normally be, which contributed to the success of the speech.

However you call it – affirmations, self-talk, and mottos – they are all productive ways of communicating with yourself. And when you can’t change the external circumstances, engaging in cheerful self-talk will help wheel the situation in a positive direction.

Your attitude

Your attitude is the lens through which you view the world. You can approach each day with a positive, optimistic attitude or a negative one.

Imagine you are stuck in traffic and are about to be late for a meeting. You can get angry, frustrated, and stressed out, or you can stay calm, patient, and focused on finding a solution. Whether it’s calling for rescheduling or giving a heads-up to other attendees, the minute you approach the situation differently, you make a change.

Your daily routine

Your routine is the set of habits and behaviors that you engage in on a daily basis. As regular as it sounds, your future and well-being lie in your daily routine.

Imagine that you’re struggling with the stress from work and family. While problems won’t magically go away in a snap of the fingers, you can build a morning routine that helps keep you calm and grounded.

It may include meditation, exercise, a healthy breakfast, etc. By changing what you do in the morning, you set the tone for your day and create a sense of clarity that can carry you through any challenges that arise.

Your priorities

You can do anything, but not everything at the same time. By setting and sticking to your priorities, you gain control over your life rather than being constantly pulled toward different directions.

By taking a step back and reflecting on what really matters, you can identify the most important things and focus your time and energy on them.

This might mean prioritizing your time with your family or a passion. Or it can be self-care activities like exercise and meditation. Identify your needs and what brings you joy, and make them the top of your to-do list.

How you respond to difficult situations

As much as we want to, it’s impossible to avoid challenges, especially when you try to learn a new skill, take on a new role, and take your life to the next level. However, what we can do is respond to them productively.

This may require you to identify the problem areas and engage in a growth mindset. Whether it’s the lack of resources, skills, or just the fear and self-doubt, know that they are all solvable given enough practice, time, and actions.

It also requires you to focus on your strength, seek help or guidance from a professional or reach out to someone you trust for support. By doing so, you utilize both your internal and external resources, maximizing the possibilities of overcoming the challenges.

This will also help you build resilience and mental strength in the long run, so you are more confident in conquering what life throws you in the future.

Who you allow in your circle

You may not be able to control who enters your life and what they do. But you have complete control over who to trust and who you stay close to.

The people you choose to be close to can profoundly impact your life. They can provide support and motivation when you need it most, challenge you to improve, and bring joy and fulfillment. A pat on the shoulder and words of encouragement can be all you need on a bad day.

But not everyone you meet has the purest intentions and a sympathetic ear. And you have every right to cut ties with selfish people, fake friends, or energy vampires in your life. You hold the keys to your circle.

How you take care of yourself

Self-care is essential for your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Taking care of yourself improves your ability to cope with uncertainties and increases your resilience and productivity. And self-care doesn’t always equal a half-an-hour yoga session or going to a resort. It can be simple, brief and effective.

Suppose you have a deadline approaching. Your workload is heavy, and your boss is demanding. So, of course, there’s not enough time for a relaxing self-date. But you can take a few minutes to practice deep breathing, go for a walk, or listen to calming music. This can help you manage your stress and feel more grounded.

Additionally, prioritizing healthy eating and exercise habits can help you feel physically energized and mentally sharp, which can ultimately help you perform better at work.

How you handle your feelings

Denying or suppressing your emotions only makes things worse, especially in stressful times. However, when you acknowledge and process your feelings, you can reduce their impact on your life and improve your ability to cope with difficult situations.

For example, let’s say that you are upset about the amount of household responsibilities on your part. Instead of lashing out at your partner or allowing that anger to build up inside, you can have an honest and open talk to delegate the tasks more productively.

By validating your emotions and positively processing them, you allow yourself to let the stress go, open up, and make better decisions. It will also encourage others to do so, creating a loving and supportive environment.

Your reactions to others’ comments

Haters are gonna hate. And in the era of the Internet and social media, it’s almost impossible to stay away from negative comments. However, you can choose whether or not and how you respond to them.

Let’s say that someone makes a comment that you find offensive. You can’t change how they think or what they say, but you can choose your response.

Instead of engaging in a fight, which will most likely be a waste of time, you could respond in a way that’s respectful and assertive, such as saying, “I understand that we have different opinions.” And remember, sometimes the best response is not responding at all. You don’t need to fight every battle.

Your healing

We all have experienced traumatic events, such as the loss of a loved one, betrayals, breakups, or defeats. While you can’t control what happens to you, healing is your responsibility.

Choosing to heal means allowing yourself to let go of the pain and move on. It requires internal work to process the emotions that come with difficult experiences. For some people, it may also mean seeking help from loved ones or a professional.

It’s important to remember that healing is a process, and it may not happen overnight. It takes time, patience, and self-compassion. But the moment you acknowledge your feelings, you allow yourself to embrace happiness again.

Final thoughts

So here are the things you can control that will heavily influence your life. I hope they remind you that, despite the things out of your hands, you are strong and capable. And you have the power to do your best in the face of uncertainties.