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42 Coffee Quotes You Need To Wake Up And Slay The Day

A list of funny coffee quotes to start your day with spices and giggles

Who doesn’t love coffee? And who doesn’t need a cup of the magical brew to start a day?

Have you ever tried to document your feelings before and after coffee? I have. Conclusion? Coffee makes me a better person. Coffee is the right kind of boost and motivation we need on Monday or any day.

Honor your sacred relationship with coffee with these funny coffee quotes and share the love with the world!

Funny coffee quotes to wake you up

Table of content

  • Relatable funny coffee quotes
  • Smart and sassy Coffee captions
  • Perfect Instagram bio quotes for coffee lovers

Relatable funny coffee quotes

You can never overrate the magic of coffee. And these funny coffee quotes capture the power of it. If you are a proud coffee lover, these quotes will make you want one more cup.

A yawn is a silent scream of coffee. - Relatable funny coffee quotes

A yawn is a silent scream of coffee.

Nothing stands between a girl and her coffee.

Coffee is the ultimate girl power.

May your coffee kick in before reality does. - Relatable funny coffee quotes

May your coffee kick in before reality does.

Fingers crossed for everyone on Monday.

Drink some coffee and pretend you know what you’re doing.

More espresso, less depresso. - Relatable funny coffee quotes

More espresso, less depresso.

Coffee spelled backwards is eeffoc. And I don’t give eeffoc before my coffee.

Coffee spelled backwards is eeffoc. And I don’t give eeffoc before my coffee.

Read also: 5 subtle ways to stop giving f*cks

Happiness is a cup of coffee and a good book.

May the coffee be with you.

Coffee is a delicious way to let your body know that you don't give a shit that it's tired. - Relatable funny coffee quotes

Coffee is a delicious way to let your body know that you don’t give a sh*t that it’s tired.

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by right belong to your older self. 
– Terry Pratchett

Coffee and dogs make the world go around. - Relatable funny coffee quotes

Coffee and dogs make the world go around.

Today's good mood is sponsored by coffee. - Relatable funny coffee quotes

Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee.

More like, every day.

Sh*t happens. Coffee helps. - Relatable funny coffee quotes

Sh*t happens. Coffee helps.

Having a bad day? Pour yourself a cup of coffee and wait for it to kick in.

Temporarily closed for coffee maintenance. - Relatable funny coffee quotes

Temporarily closed for coffee maintenance.

Write this quote down as a sign because coffee always comes first.

Coffee: the most important meal of today. - Relatable funny coffee quotes

Coffee: the most important meal of today.

Coffee is too good to be sacrificed on any diet.

Put your hair up in a bun. Drink coffee and handle it.

Hope the caffeine flowing in your vein brings you extra superpower.

Smart and sassy Coffee captions

Posting a coffee picture on Instagram? Here is a list of coffee captions that go perfectly with your caffeinated vibes.

I'm sorry for what I said before coffee. - Smart and sassy Coffee captions

I’m sorry for what I said before coffee.

Words don’t count when spoken unsober.

Nothing stands between a girl and her coffee.

I must get up. My coffee needs me.

The alarm clock may wake you. But it’s the coffee that brings you back to life.

Coffee in one hand. Confidence in another.

Maybe coffee is addicted to me.- Smart and sassy Coffee captions

Maybe coffee is addicted to me.

The feelings are mutual.

Ways to win my heart:  Buy me coffee.  Make me coffee.  Be coffee.- Smart and sassy Coffee captions

Ways to win my heart:
Buy me coffee.
Make me coffee.
Be coffee.

I’m not addicted to coffee. We are in a committed relationship.

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.  - T.S.Elliot- Smart and sassy Coffee captions

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
– T.S.Elliot

I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.
– Louisa May Alcott

Give me coffee for things I can change and tequila for those I can't.- Smart and sassy Coffee captions

Give me coffee for things I can change and tequila for those I can’t.

When life gives you lemonade, return it and ask for coffee instead.

Me without coffee: tired Me with coffee: tired but faster- Smart and sassy Coffee captions

Me without coffee: tired
Me with coffee: tired but faster

I don't need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.- Smart and sassy Coffee captions

I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.

Time to level up, start by drinking my bowl of coffee.

Step up your game.

I’m waiting to see if my coffee chooses to use its power for good or evil today.

Maybe coffee is a Gemini.

Perfect Instagram bio quotes for coffee lovers

Coffee is an identity. Coffee is a community. If you love coffee to a fault, announce it with these savage coffee bio quotes!

My blood type is coffee. - Perfect Instagram bio quotes for coffee lovers

My blood type is coffee.

I am like my coffee: dark, bitter, and too hot for you.

I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person.

Read also: 42 Motivational morning quotes for the non-morning person

Wears black.  Loves coffee.  Avoids people.- Perfect Instagram bio quotes for coffee lovers

Wears black.
Loves coffee.
Avoids people.

B*tch better have my coffee.- Perfect Instagram bio quotes for coffee lovers

B*tch better have my coffee.

A sassy coffee bio quote to embrace the bad b*tch attitude.

First I drink coffee and then I do things.

Coffee makes me user-friendly.- Perfect Instagram bio quotes for coffee lovers

Coffee makes me user-friendly.

Coffee alone is a strong support network.

I am like coffee: strong, sweet and too hot for you.

Resting coffee face.- Perfect Instagram bio quotes for coffee lovers

Resting coffee face.

Relationship status: In relationship with coffee

Do you enjoy these coffee quotes?

Which one of these funny quotes gives you an extra boost? Share in the comment!