How I train my mind to see the good in myself with these simple tips to practice self-love
One thing I struggle a lot is to love myself through difficult times. Dwelling in pain is convenient. Pulling yourself out is hard.
Before we get into different ways to practice self-love, let’s answer this question:
How much do you love yourself?
And yes, it’s a broad one. Let’s break it down.
- Do you accept your flaws?
- Are you guarding your boundaries?
- Do you settle for less?
- Are you undermining yourself?
By answering these questions, you probably have an idea of how strong your self-love is. If you are not where you want to be, don’t worry. The ability to love yourself is a strength. It takes practice to get stronger.
So today I am sharing with you 7 ways to practice self-love through tough times. Pick one or two to implement and see how you feel.
Easy and doable ways to practice self-love
Stop taking yourself so seriously
I was so anxious when I moved to New Zealand alone. Everything intimidated me. One day I was buying coffee, and I didn’t have my wallet with me. I was so embarrassed that I blushed.
“I am making a fool of myself.” But when I told the cashier what happened, people in the line were either talking or minding their own business, no one was laughing at me.
That was the time that I realized that I was tip-toeing every day to make myself look good. It may sound harsh, but the fact is that people don’t care. Even if they do, even if they don’t like you, not all of them matter. They only matter when you think they do.
Approach life in a light-hearted way and you will free the space for the real important things.
Here’s what you can do:
Do something stupid or awkward. Dancing in your dorm, asking a dumb question in class, or talking with a stranger in the gym for no reason…you name it.
Find a role model
Do you know people who love themselves radically? Not just advocates but practitioners.
I was so heartbroken after breaking up with my 6-year boyfriend. One day I came across a video from Alix Traegerwhere she talked about why she remained single. But I didn’t see a single woman. Instead, I see a strong, confident girl that knows her worth. And it was a moment of truth – you are not less loved even when you are alone.
I won’t say finding someone to look up to would magically fix all your problems. But it definitely shows that you can be strong, passionate, and happy at the same time.
Here’s what you can do:
Find your role model. Write his/her name down on paper with your reasons. Watch how they talk. Mimic their tone. Cyber-stalk them. Immerse yourself in their energy.
Stop watering every flower
You can do anything, not everything, and definitely not everything at the same time.
So what do you have on your plate now? Are you loading yours with a bunch of deadlines, side hustles, and new hobbies? If so, it’s time to declutter.
Picture yourself as your phone battery. You will burn out with 20 apps running in the background. So why not do one thing at a time? Find a focus and give it your best shot.
Here’s what you can do:
List things that you are doing or planning to do right now. Pick one and write down the next step to take. Focus on one step at a time, not the entire process.
Celebrate the small things
Find reasons to be proud of yourself, because you have.
Our brain can so busy dealing with crisis that it forgets all the positive things. You have reasons to love yourself, you just need to be reminded. That’s why it’s important to track your small victories and celebrate.
What to do:
The best way to do this is to set up a happy journal. You can use a bullet journal or your phone. Document every small success in your life and go over them often.
Read also: 11 amazing bullet journal ideas to practice self-care
Do you sleep better last night? Write it down.
Tried a new recipe and love it? Write it down.
Cut your screen time by 20%? You deserve a treat.
Plant the seeds of self-love and grow it. You’ll find a happier you.
Cut your negative self-talk
Frowning is a bad habit I struggle to quit for a long time. I frown over the tinest things and people assume that I am mad all the time. And I don’t even notice it.
Then I learned from an actor that we need to cut off the chain of reaction in order to quit a bad habit. Take frowning, for example, put a tape above your eyebrows, and every time you frown, you notice. I frown less and less once I start doing it.
That’s how I do to stop my negative self-talk as well. I pay attention to words like “can’t“, “shouldn’t” and “impossible” and reevaluate the reasoning behind the sentences. “Is this job really “impossible” because I haven’t done it before?” This mindful practice helps me to focus on what I can do instead of worrying about what might happen.
Here’s what you can do:
Replace your negative self-talk with these happy prompts:
- I will give it a try.
- This is hard. But here’s what I can do…
- I am having a bad day, and it’s temporary.
Read also: 34 Gratitude quotes to find the good in your life
Acknowledge your feelings
I learned from my last breakup that you can never win a war against yourself. The more you try to push your emotion back, the harder it backfires.
And the truth is, your emotions are part of you. You are not weak because you feel sad, lonely, or frustrated. They are a signal of your mental health, not a sign of weakness. To love yourself, you need to accept your vulnerabilities.
Here’s what you can do:
“How are you, really?“
Take out a piece of paper and write down your answer. You can write about your fears, your concern, your joy or anything that is on your mind. Then read your answer, just like listening to a friend opening up to you. Be a sympathetic ear for yourself and know that however you feel, you are worthy.
Uninvite, unfriend
Some people are meant to be temporary. That’s a lesson I learned in 2020.
If someone is making you feel less lovable, it’s time to reconsider your relationship. When you love yourself enough, you take your power back by cutting people off .
Here’s what you can do:
Write down the names of people to distance yourself with, ignore, and cut off completely.
Read also: 58 Fake friends quotes to cut them off for good
How do you practice self-love?
So that’s how I practice self-love. I know it’s a lot of listing, documenting and thinking. But I swear it’s worth the effort.
Everything that costs you your inner peace is too expensive. And everything that cultivates self-love is priceless.
Implement one or two self-love strategies at a time and see how they go! Feel free to tell me your progress in the comment!
