We can’t be strong without being vulnerable. So here is a list of vulnerability questions to ask yourself.
I struggle a lot to embrace vulnerability. Being raised by a single mother, I always want myself to be like her: tough, resilient, and independent. And I grew up hiding my feelings and insecurities because I didn’t want anyone to regard me as a burden.
But deep down, I know I have issues. I was in and out of relationships. I dated people that I wasn’t really into. I settled for convenience. And my insecurities played a big part in it. But I wasn’t aware.
We all have fears, flaws, insecurities, and weaknesses. They make us human. But they can also impact our relationships and life. And sometimes we don’t even know what is holding us back.
So I’ve rounded up a list of vulnerability questions to ask yourself. It may not be easy to face what you’ve been hiding from. But when we stop pretending to be invincible, our fears become less intimidating.
Read also: 49 Life-changing quotes about vulnerability from Brené Brown
A list of vulnerability questions to know yourself better
- What was the last time you acted irrationally? What happened?
- Describe the most humiliating thing you’ve experienced?
- Name one harshest comment you’ve received.
- Have you ever felt like you disappointed yourself? Why?
- What worries you the most at the moment?
- What was the last time when you felt like everything is out of control?
- Are you scared of being lonely?
- Have you settled for less? If so, why?
- If you are moving to a new country alone, what terrifies you the most?
- Imagine you have one day left in your life, what do you regret not doing?
- Do you avoid asking for help?
- Do you often feel jealous? If so, why?
- How do you react to criticism?
- What decision you wish you’ve never made?
- Are you comfortable talking about your feelings?
- If a stranger presumes you as a bad person, what do you think is the reason?
- If someone says: “I have bad news for you,” what do you think happens?
- How will you describe your biggest failure so far?
- Have you lied about anything? Why?
- Name one thing you have given up for difficult reasons.
- What seems easy for everybody but you?
- What are your core values? Are you living by them?
- Describe one time you feel uncomfortable. Where were you? Who was around?
- What is your negative self-talk?
- Do you have anything you can’t get over with? If so, why?
- What is one critical risk you are facing now?
- What might still make you feel empty even when you are rich?
- Are you proud of being who you are?
- What is one thing you want to change about yourself?
- What question do you hate being asked?
- Have you ever felt excluded? What was the occasion?
- What misconception makes you want to scream, “that’s not me“?
Read also: 23 thought-provoking questions to ask yourself
How I identify my vulnerabilities with these questions?
Just like you, maybe, I don’t have answers for all the questions. And it’s totally ok. As long as you are honest with yourself, you will learn something new. Here are some of my answers and how they help to strengthen my self-awareness:
- Question: Have you settled for less? If so, why?
Answer: Yes, I have. I once dated a guy because I was scared to be single. I felt the need to get married and have kids, just like everyone else at my age. It took me three months to realize I couldn’t be with someone I don’t love. And I am still, scared to be judged as a single woman without kids. But I am more scared to be in a relationship that doesn’t spark joy.
By answering this question, I realized the fear of being alone is not actually my vulnerability. The fear of being different is. And that’s something I need to work on.
- Questions: What was the last time you acted irrationally? What happened?
Answer: Being called fat by my ex. I work out like crazy for the 3 following days. My adrenaline was powered by shame, which is not healthy.
That made me realized I had always been insecure about my body. So I started to look in the mirror every day and learn to accept myself. My self-love is still a work in progress. But I am happy that I took the first step.
What next?
After answering these insecurity questions, you may have a list of your vulnerabilities. So how do you benefit from knowing your vulnerabilities?
I love writing things down, just as how I do my brain-dump. Getting things on paper takes the burden off my mind. And I challenge you to:
- Write your vulnerabilities down on paper
- Review them every once in a while (I did every month)
- Cross out those you’ve overcome or are comfortable with
- Track your process in a bullet-journal
- Celebrate!
I hope these strategies inspire you to beat your fear and self-doubts. Answering these vulnerabilitiy questions is hard. Facing your emotions is hard. But it’s only going to get better from here on.
Read also: 17 Mindful Habits To Track On Your Bullet Journal
Your turn
Things don’t work unless you do. It’s your turn to take the first step and use these vulnerability questions. Feel free to share your own experiences. We all have vulnerabilities, and you are not alone.
